Old.

I’ve been having strange abdominal issues the past 2 months, characterized by random swellings and a chronic pain springing up on me. I finally went to see the doctor after my diet and exercise changes didn’t affect it, and she recommended these over-the-counter fiber pills. If that didn’t work after 2 weeks, then I should go see a G.I. specialist. But if it did work I would be taking these fiber pills daily. Oh. Okay… Wait, for how long? A month, a few months and then it’s over? No. My physician said “FOREVER“, with a smile on her face like this was a good thing (*cry*).

FOR-EV-VER

That’s pretty crappy in of itself, but the worst thing is that these are the jumbo size kinds that you need to drink a large glass of water with or you feel that monster capsule cruelly toying with peristalsis as it takes its sweet time slowly wriggling on down your esophagus. I guess I should start buying caseloads of Metamucil 40 years earlier than I planned to and just call it a day.

Ryan Adams – I Taught Myself How To Grow Old (mp3)

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About bunkercomplex

My name is Andrea, and I'm a 23 year old Southern California girl and a newly minted Speech-Language Pathologist. When I’m not high-fiving 8-year-olds for finally producing a good /r/ sound, I fill my time with Peter Gabriel, Ayn Rand, Phil Hendrie, bicycles, Korean stationery, movie marathon nights, and baking. You can email me at bunkercomplex@gmail.com.
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4 Responses to Old.

  1. Aaron J says:

    Whenever I hear the word “forever” it echos internally a couple times as “FOR….EV….ER”

  2. Lauren says:

    Ehhhh…you’re getting no sympathy from me. I was told to eat Muesli when I was in third grade. By junior high I was on Metamucil. Haha. And it turned out forever didn’t last forever.

  3. Pingback: Oh (no) Sherrie | Bunker Complex

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