I just came home from the (hopefully) one wedding I’m attending this year. Listen up, couples. I know that when assigning seats you think it’s a cute idea to pair couples with couples, but all that does is leave us singles (i.e. scraps) in the wake. We’re magically always relegated to the table in the waaay back with the random 16-year-old and 9-year-old boys, we’re never visited by the bride and groom, and we’re then harassed into catching dead flowers and underwear thrown at us. If I didn’t enjoy getting to dress up so much I’d have bailed on this couples-only freak show a long time ago. Boo, inconsiderate married people.